A Breast-Feeding Dilema

First I would like to point out that I really am a laid back Mom.  Based on this post and the sleeping game, I may sound like a crazy woman who won't let her baby play with another baby, because I would be afraid she would contract some mysterious disease.  I am certainly far from that.  Monday - Friday my children are on the same schedule as the rest of the kids in my child care, but on weekends, it is up in the air.  Bedtimes, nap-times, playtime are always at different times.  I don't want my children to be the kid who is whining because they are up past their bedtime.  Mine is the one sitting listening to a band play in a bar around 9:30pm.  I am extremely flexible with my children in most areas, but there is one area that I am not really good at giving up control: Breast Feeding.

Here is my confession:  my daughter is 9 months old and has not eaten from a bottle.  That is not all, my son never used a bottle.  There are some people that would slap me on the back and say "great job", while others look on disgusted and say "what a control freak".  While, there may be an under lying control issue, the main reason we don't use a bottle: it is way easier not too.  When my daughter is hungry or sleepy, I can stop crying immediately (makes me kind of feel like a super hero).  It is wonderful!  When my son was cranky, I could feed him a little and then pass him off to a family member and then he would melt their hearts with his smiles.  When my baby wakes up in the middle of the night, I can stay snuggled in bed and nurse her - no kitchen run.  For my family, this is the easiest, most natural option.

There are some drawbacks to it.  My husband feels left out at times.  Both of my children have become "Momma's babies".  They know where the food is, they aren't stupid.  I try to leave (and we did this with my son too) my daughter with her father at night, while I catch up on cleaning or a shower... a little Daddy Time.  But I am sure he wants to feel like a super hero to and have her stop crying the moment he picks her up - He and I know we will get there soon, but not as fun to be ranked #2.

The major drawback: exclusive breast feeding makes it really hard to leave those babies.  This weekend made this so clear.  I had a play I was attending where I was going to be gone for 4 hours.  The baby was going to miss a nursing session.  (I have left her before for meetings, grocery shopping, yoga, but I had never had something that interfered with a nursing session).  I did what I had to and left her caretaker (my sister) with plenty of supplies: cups, bottles, baby food, teething biscuits and of course pumped milk.  Well, as expected when I got back, my sister informed me "she hates bottles, she just was getting frustrated so I stopped." Apparently my little bundle of joy cried half the time I was gone and no one could calm her down.  The worst part is that I saw this coming from a mile away.  The play snuck up on me, but once I remembered, I knew my little girl wasn't ready yet, I had done nothing to prepare her.  She sucks at eating food - doesn't enjoy it as much as nursing and doesn't quite have the hang of a cup.  She lived, but who knows if my sister will ever volunteer to watch her again.

So here is where I am hoping to get some feedback from other breast feeding Momma's out there or Daddy's with breast feeding ladies in their lives.  If you are a stay at home Mom and exclusively breast fed your baby, how did you introduce a bottle and/or cup?  What kind of bottles did your baby use, how old were they?  Help Momma's out there like myself by giving us the inside scoop and letting us know we can leave once and a while without coming home to a super sad baby.

Gifts for Child Care Families

So the holidays are sneaking up on us, as they seem to every year.  One of the things I dislike about this season is having to come up with gift ideas.  You thought it was hard coming up with a gift to give your Grandma, well that is nothing compared to coming up with a gift for a child care family.  Do you give the whole family a gift, the child a gift or just stay out of it entirely - I mean you do enough by taking care of them day in and day out right.  This was not always a hard decision.  At the beginning I only watched one little boy, so I got him a gift and sent his parents along their merry way with a plate full of cookies.  Then all the other kids came along.  Here is the thing, I don't have that much time on my hands - so making cookies for that many people is out of the realm of possibilities.  So a whole new idea was needed.  Plus in this economy, I don't know about you, but I don't have money to spend on 6 - 8 kids individually.

I decided the best way to deal with this situation was to assess the situation properly.  I take a crap load of pictures of the kids.  I figure parents want to know what their little buggers are up to when they are not with them daily.  Here is the thing, I never did anything with these pictures.  They just sat on my computer taking up precious memory.  So I decided to use this as my focal point.  I could frame a picture, but what about the 300+ other pictures?  I could make a scrapbook, but I don't have time to make cookies, so that seriously isn't going to work, right?  Well, then I got thinking about a photo book.  I could make it online during nap times, a ton of the pictures could be used and the gift would benefit the kids and their parents.  The prices of the photobooks range from $10 -$50.  The best part is around the holidays photo websites have amazing deals.  I always deal with Snapfish, (www.snapfish.com) they have 40%, buy 2 get 1free, all kinds of deals.  I am sure that Shutterfly and other companies have amazing holiday deals as well.  It takes a little time to get a photo book together, but it is fun to go back through the pictures of the kids, not to mention amazing to see how much they have grown! (If you do go this route, make sure that you have gotten a letter signed stating that you were allowed to take the pictures).

When I first started my gift giving tradition, I was not a mother.  When you are without children of your own you have a lot of great ideas, then you have kids and you realized they sucked (the ideas, not the kids - to be clear).  I think that my gift giving tradition was the only exception to that rule.  As a mother I can't imagine a gift that I could receive that would top that.  As an added bonus, I have yet to meet a child that does not love looking at pictures of themselves.  Seriously, kids love looking at themselves.  Together parents and kids can look at pictures and kids can tell about what was happening that day or tell about the friends they have made.

The only other suggestion I would give is try to plan ahead.  For black friday Snapfish had 55% off the entire website.  I could have saved a ton had I been ready on time - which of course I wasn't.  (You can be sure I will be trying to follow my own advice next year.)  The deals after black friday get a little weak, but then get better the closer you get to Christmas.

So have fun and create some memories.  I have yet to hear a complaint!  It is a gift that will be enjoyed for years to come.  I always make sure there is one picture of me in their albums - then hopefully I will never be forgotten.

Fall Leaf Fun!!!!

I know, I know Fall is almost gone.  The snow falling on us as we played outdoors today, made that all too clear.  As long as there are leaves outside though, I figure you can continue the Fall fun.  Not to mention it will keep you warm raking and the kids warm running!!!

If you don't already own a rake, get one (that is if you have leaves to rake), it makes for endless fun for the kids.  They also make some wonderful kid sized rakes:  like this Melissa and Doug rake, which can be purchased on Amazon for $17.99.  (Lots of different ones though, just thought this one was cute).

So when raking those leaves this year, I of course did the monstrous pile in which the kids could jump, dive and throw leaves to their hearts content.  There is so much more than piles that we do here, lets me have a little fun and be creative with them!  (Fine, you caught me, I always having fun jumping in the leaf piles)

Mark the Year:

We always take a yearly picture with the leaves!  

Simply A - Maze Them:

Make it as big or small as you want.  Make it hard or extremely easy!  

We went for a fairly easy one, that could be added to as time went on!

The kids had fun with the maze for hours!

Silly Pictures:

I never said I was an artist!  Make pictures for the time of year: Pumpkins,

Bats, Ghosts for Halloween.  A turkey for Thanksgiving.  The kids can play pictionary

(have them take turns making pictures, with or without help,

then have the others guess what they made).  

Bring the Learning Outdoors:

While the weather is still nice enough to be outside for extended hours

and before you are cooped up inside, take the learning out.  We 

did letters of the week outside in the leaves (I also made an elephant to go with it -

although it was hard to tell). 

There is so much more than piles, but the plus is after all the fun, you can rake them back into those piles and jump on in!  After you have had all your fun, get the kids to help with the clean-up.  We always rake the leaves onto a tarp and drag it to the garden for mulch (the kids love riding on the tarp as we pull it!)  Just take this time to enjoy each other and the outdoors, before lots of snow replaces it - then I will put up a new post of our winter fun!

Tractor Halloween Costume

This is the first Halloween where we gave our son the choice of what he wanted to be for Halloween.  His first answer was a butterfly.  We looked online at costumes and it was there that he came up with the idea that would stick: a tractor!!!   Here was the thing though, he picked out the John Deere cloth costume which was $50.  There was no way I was going to buy a cloth tractor for him to wear as a costume, once. (It was kinda ugly)  No offense, John Deere.  So we decided we were going to make our own.  This way it could be fashioned after his father's tractor.


I am not going to say that this is a quick costume to throw together, but it is relatively easy and cheap.  Here is what we used:  Lots of cardboard, red paper plates, vinyl lettering, duck tape, electrical tape, printed International logos, spray paint (red, black and clear coat), 4 tap lights, toilet paper roll, orange and red paper, gorilla glue, mod podge, white and black paint and suspenders.  Once it was finished and completely clear coated, it was good to go.  I think if we did it again we would have colored cellophane red and placed it over the back lights. (but again it was for him to wear once and then destroy)

On Halloween it rained and snowed while we were out trick or treating (this costume choice was great cause he could just wear whatever he wanted, we went with a heavy jacket and boots), and the clear coat kept the tractor looking good.  The lights were our flashlights and other kids loved coming by to turn them on and off.  The only downside, was my son didn't want to wear it the entire time, but we spent quite a bit of time building it together, so it all evens out.

Potty Training Tips

There is one thing, as a parent and child care provider, that tops the list as my least favorite childrearing activities - Potty Training.  Here is the thing, every child is different.  What works for one, does not always work for another.  This goes for siblings too!  I have potty trained (or assisted training) about 10 children in my time as child care provider, the last being my own son, and it is hard.  There are so many methods out there.  No matter how many M&M's you dole out, dealing with bodily fluids is just gross.  This post is not to tell you how to potty train your little one, heck no, but maybe it will give you a few ideas.

I hate pull-ups:  I know the cute little princess and cars pull-ups are suppose to be a help, but I can't stand them.  There is not a big difference from a pull-up to a diaper.  In fact, with my son, every time I put a pull-up on him he would wet himself.  I am not talking an hour down the line, I am talking the very minute.  It became a clutch.  In fact there were a few days after having many accidents in underwear, he told me he needed his diaper.  Ditch the clutch, people and get that kid some undies.  The plus of undies is you can get them with pictures of things your child is interested in.  Let them pick them out, it gives them a little say in this whole situation and will get them excited to wear them.  I know that it is making more work for you.  I had days with laundry up the ying yang, but in the end it saves you money and a huge hassle.  Heck, in your own home let them run nude (If you have carpet, maybe underwear with a cloth diaper cover or place a towel under hind quarters), but let them know what it feels like to go to the bathroom without something absorbing it right away and keeping them dry.

Give them a ton to drink and get them on the potty often:  I have had a lot of children that just have no idea what they are suppose to do when they get on the potty.  Besides perhaps watching their parents, they have nothing to go on.  So give them a bunch to drink, get them in undies and keep putting them on the potty.  They are going to have accidents, and I mean a lot.  But hopefully one of the times you put them on the potty they will actually go.  When they do (even if it is a little), make a huge deal out of it.  Once they have gone on the potty a few times and you have celebrated like they have won a gold medal, they will get it.  This method actually worked really well for one of the children in my care, after a few weeks of this, he just got it.  No more diapers or accidents.

Yup reward:  Here is the thing.  I have always rewarded.  Some have cared about the reward, others not so much.  Kids need to know they are doing something right - so whether verbal, chart, stickers or the dreaded, candy, do something to show them how proud you are.  For my own child, I will buy him a book and if he can go a full day or two (then we will keep moving up), he can have a new book.  It may seem like they will expect a reward for the rest of their lives, but you slowly just make it disappear.  What may have been every time, move to everyday, then every week...

Ditch the little potty:  I know that it is convenient to have a potty that your child can put themselves on. Those little potty's are so nasty.  They have all kinds of bacteria on them - ewwww.  They sell little seats you put on your existing seat.  I actually have one for the child care bathroom attached right to the top of the toilet seat.  First they are easier to clean!  Second you are not re-training them to go to the potty on the actual potty.  Eventually you are going to do your time helping them in the bathroom- do it up front.

Technology can help:  There is an app called "POTTY TIME", which is wonderful.  There are videos and sticker charts to help make this experience more fun.  There also is an option for a woman to call your child after he/she has made it to the potty (and there is one for accidents too).  My son loved the phone call, which got me thinking, with so much technology why not take advantage.  We had his grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends call Tango and leave messages on how wonderful he was doing on the potty.  Don't have Tango on your phone, plan Skype days with people who will encourage your child.  Trust me, it gets tiring saying "Great Job", over and over again.  Get some help.

The potty basket:  There are going to be times where your little one might just have to wait it out - especially after the "give them a ton to drink and get them on the potty often" method.  There are only so many times you can put them on the potty before you want to pull your hair out.  Switch it up by putting a basket with washable board books and toys by the toilet.  This will give your child an option to play when they are waiting.  When they are distracted is when they go.  Do yourself a favor and put a magazine in for yourself.

Breathe:  Potty training can be really trying.  When your little one has an accident try not to get angry.  When they have pooped in their undies, I know it can be hard not to get angry.  Take a moment to get yourself together and then remind them where it is that they need to go potty.  Let them flush that nastiness down the potty and then put them in another pair of undies.  The last thing you want to do is make them scared of the process and by yelling, you might make that happen.

Routine:  Here is the big one.  Mom's, Dad's and Child care providers.  Get on the same schedule.  I can't tell you how many kids have gone to the bathroom for me like champs, but once they get home it all ends.  Make sure that you talk with any other person about the routine you are planning on using.  If everyone is on the same game plan it is going to make it easier for everyone.  Child care providers have an easier time, because their days are often the same.  I have found that at the beginning of training - once they figure out the toilet is where they are supposed to go potty, that getting them on the potty every 45 minutes is key!

Don't compare:  Don't compare you little one with the little boy/girl down the street who was potty trained by 2.  It is hard to do, I know, but it just gets us worked up.  I have had some potty trained by 2 and others by 4 - but guess what, they all are potty trained now!

There are so many other choices out there for potty training.  Try to keep it fun!  If you find that your child is not responding to potty training, there is no harm in stopping and trying again a month or two down the line.  In fact I stopped potty training my son after he turned 2 because I was going to have a baby a few months later.  I knew that a baby would change his routine, so why not wait until we established a new routine with the baby.

What methods have worked for you?

The Sleeping Game

I went out last night, only to be called home at 9:10 to a screaming baby. (Seriously, I could hear her from outside) Why such loud and angry screams out of the body of such a small little girl?  Well, apparently she just can't fall asleep without her human pacifier.  This was not a job I even new existed until a few years ago.  My son was denied a pacifier for 10 days after he was born (I feared nipple confusion - PLEASE), only to be given one because I had become the pacifier.   Once we introduced this nipple saver, a world of opportunities was set before us.  Our daughter was given her first pacifier on the very first day of her life.  While my son loved his binky more than his sister, they both gave them up at young ages.  My son was 6 months, while his little sister was 4 months.   Overall I love that they have given these up on their own.  It means that I am not going to have to come up with crazy plans to yank these from their lives later on - Hooray, one less struggle to pursue.  However, it has meant, with my daughter, that I cannot go far from her, especially when a nap or bedtime are approaching. 

Oh, and now I am started on bedtime, our routine is ridiculous.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for routine, but it takes so much time.  I am sure that if any of it was taped there would be some parents looking on with pity, while the others would be purely amused and the rest would fall asleep before the baby got in jammies.  It begins with a soothing bath.   Once I pluck her warm little body out of there, we move onto lotion time.  This is where she gets a nice gentle massage before her pajamas are put on.   Then we move onto the final nursing session, which can last up to an hour.   How is that even possible. Well, once my little girl has dosed off, I carry her upstairs (after 10 minutes - hoping to get her into a good sleep) and place her in her bed.  The moment her body is no longer touching mine, her eyes magically spring open.  There is either a cry and sometimes a smile that follows. I have tried to coax her back to sleep while standing next to her crib.   But that leaves me with a sore back and a STILL wide awake baby 30 minutes later.  So eventually, we are off to the chair to try this crazy routine again. Once I reach my limit (which is me just wanting to go to bed), she finally just ends up in bed with me.   Thus creating a child who is dependent on her Mommy for warmth and comfort. 

While this co-sharing arrangement may not be for everyone, it is working at the moment.  (Well, not to my husbands advantage), but once that little girl is down, she sleeps like a champ!  I can happily say that my little girl, after snuggling up next to me, finally fell asleep at 9:45pm.  She is still sleeping soundly in bed now at 8:42am.   Last night was amazing she got up for the first time to nurse at 6:00am, which gave us 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep!   Now for all parents of an older child, they know how rare this is.  I always laugh inside (and I mean evil villain laugh) when a new parent says that their baby can sleep through the night.  Here is the thing, there are the few babies (let me emphasize few) that are kind to their parents in their sleeping patterns.   My daughter has from the beginning been wonderful. She never got her days and nights confused, and would (and still does) sleep from 9:ish - 8:ish in the morning.  She in fact has only gotten up before 7:00am once in her entire 7 months of life. But she is a frequent diner at the "Milk Factory".  She is up about 3 to 4 times a night for just a little nip to get her back into that dreamy state.   But I am under no delusion that this great sleeper will be this way forever.   She one day will get teeth, cold season will be upon us shortly (I don't even want to mention the other illnesses); there is always something to make it so they won't sleep through the night.  Heck my son didn't sleep all the way through the night until 3 months ago, a great run that to will come to an end, because there will always be something around the bend to wake them up at night.

So here is some advice all you "will to be parents", get all the sleep you can get.  Once that little baby is here you will never sleep a full night again.  And those rare times that they do sleep through the night, you will wake up multiple times trying to figure out why they aren't wake.  Then when they get older you are worry about what they are doing out so late!  (Not sure about elementary school - maybe that is the only time that you can sleep, but I doubt it.) 

Here is the thing, I really love to get my full 8 hours of rest (if those kids knew what was best for them, they would let me).  If I have to spend part of the night looking at someone, might as while be my baby! I can't imagine my life without them in it, even at 2:00am!

And who are you?????

First and foremost, I am a mother to two beautiful children.  A little boy who is almost 3 and a baby girl who is 7 months.   They are my everything, the very reason why I am still doing what I am doing today.  What might that be?  I am your average family daycare provider.  As if two children were not enough, Monday through Friday, we invite 4 other delightful children into our home.  Glamorous?  No Freaking Way!  There are many days where I look at my shirt and have to discern what exactly is all over it.  What did we have for lunch?  Is that paint or something from someone's leaky diaper?  I listen to the not so sweet sound of babies crying for about 3 hours a day (To be clear I am talking about the 9 hours that I have 4 extra humans with me).  To put it mildly life is hectic, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

I starting watching children in my home six years ago.  It started with one little boy and a few months down the line, we added another.  It didn't take long for the phone to start ringing with people asking me to watch their children.  The area that we live in does have a fantastic day care down the road from me, but there (at the time) was nothing else.  While our small town does have people who can afford that cute day care facility, the many small towns surrounding us, couldn't.  There was a strong need for another option in our area.  After a lot of debating with my then fiance, I decided after our wedding to go ahead and get registered as a Family Day Care Provider (a story for another day).

I have never regretted my choice.  I went to college (and finished the program) to become a history teacher.  The last semester you are sent to student teach (one thing I wish NYS would change) - during that time I learned something that would change my life: I really hated high schoolers (not all, but the disrespectful ones, ruined it for the rest).  During that small window of time, each night and sometimes mornings, I would cry at the thought of returning to that school.  I knew then, that this was something I just shouldn't do (I am sure that my father loved that).  So I received my diploma and tried to figure out what I wanted to do.  I did a few odd jobs, but then that one little boy fell into my lap.  Amazingly over that 6 year period, I have rarely dreaded the next day to come.  I had found what I was destined to do, it was chaos, but it was welcomed chaos!